What-I-Wonder-Wednesday – Self Sabotage and Nervous Nellies

I heard some excellent advice last night – advice that I am going to try to adopt.

I was at a Toastmasters meeting when one of my fellow members talked about how we agree to try something – then talk ourselves out of it.

That, I suspect, is something that we all do – but his advice was simple: don’t focus on the delivery; focus on what you need to do to get it there.

And he’s right.

While we are focused on the nitty-gritty, we don’t have time to be nervous – and if we do the planning right, everything will fall into place anyway!

While the obvious targets of the advice were those who are nervous when preparing and delivering speeches, the advice holds true not just for performers, but for everyone.

Going for a job interview? Don’t stress over what could go wrong: ask yourself what you need to do to ‘ace’ the interview, and do it. While you are preparing, you will have no time for nerves – and if you have prepared properly, you’ll do just fine on the day!

Worried that you won’t be good enough as a parent? A husband? A lover? A friend?

Focus about what you need to do to BE a good (insert role here) and the skills will come.

Now, the world has a wicked sense of humour, and no doubt caltrops will be cast into your course … but if you focus on what you need to do, then the final result has an infinitely better chance of success.

Don’t stress about the performance .. instead, work on what you need to get there, and as the saying goes, “It’ll be all right on the night.”

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